“Dianne, I know why you don’t have a boyfriend,” Macy says as she downs a cup of coffee at Starbucks in Downtown, Campbell. Macy is a cute, 44-year-old woman who is happily married with two teenage kids. Macy and I just recently met at a party and hit it off. She is funny, and I like talking to her.
“Really? Why’s that?” I ask as I’m about to shove a piece of red velvet cupcake into my mouth. Eagerly, I lean toward her to hear this latest revelation about my non-existent love life.
“You need to grow your hair longer, and you need to lose 20 pounds, maybe 25,” she says with an air of authority.
I lean back in my chair and stare at her for a moment. I then glance down at the last few crumbs of my cupcake lying on the napkin, and the only thing that I can think of is whether of not I should smash my thumb upon them and send them and my thumb hurtling to my mouth. Decisions… Decisions…I look at Macy, she looks at me, and then we both glance down at the minuscule pieces of red velvet cupcake scattered on the ugly brown napkin. Man, it is taking all of my will power not to gobble those few specks up. I know that Macy is waiting for a response, so I decide to let the crumbs go and crumble up my napkin. I look up, and Macy is still staring at me. I know she is waiting for a response, but I don’t know what to say.
“Maybe, you could have something there,” I say nodding my head in agreement. Macy’s brow furrows for a moment.
I mean what am I suppose to say to that? Actually, that has become my mantra since the release of Kissing Frogs in Cyberspace. Everybody has an opinion about my love life.
Is Macy, right? Will losing weight and growing my hair manifest into a boyfriend. Hardly. Come on. Really? Hmmm, I think this poses a new question, does weight loss equate to love gained? Let’s find out. I have a feeling this is going to be an epic battle.
I look at Macy and smile. She smiles at me. Let the games begin I say to myself.
You can visit Dianne at http://www.diannesweeney.com.
Told in a series of vignettes, Kissing Frogs in Cyberspace, Dianne Sweeney’s revealing account of dating in the 21st century takes you on a hilarious, often poignant journey of online dates, dumps, and disasters. As she discovers the world of Internet dating is blessed by those seeking true love and plagued by those just “seeking.” Kissing Frogs in Cyberspace uncovers the reality of online dating-its pleasures, its horrors, and all the quirky stuff in between.